The 1987 address by Ezra Taft Benson, “To the Mothers of Zion,” remains one of the most influential talks in the history of the LDS Church, particularly for women. Delivered with the intention of honoring and uplifting the role of mothers, it also set a high standard for what it meant to be a “good” woman in the eyes of the church. For many women, including those who were coming of age at the time, this message shaped their understanding of womanhood in profound and lasting ways. However, along with inspiration, it also brought feelings of guilt, shame, and anxiety as women grappled with the pressure to meet these ideals.
The Weight of Expectations
In “To the Mothers of Zion,” Benson emphasized the sacred duty of motherhood, urging women to devote themselves fully to raising righteous children. While this message resonated deeply with many, it also created an expectation that motherhood should be the central—and perhaps only—focus of a woman’s life. For those who harbored dreams and ambitions beyond caregiving, this message posed a difficult dilemma: How could they pursue personal and professional goals without feeling like they were falling short of their divine role?
This expectation placed a heavy burden on women, especially those who were already navigating the complexities of emerging womanhood. The pressure to conform to an idealized version of womanhood often led to feelings of inadequacy. If a woman struggled with motherhood, or if she desired something more—such as a career, education, or other personal pursuits—she might feel as though she was failing not just herself, but her family and even God.
The Emotional Toll
The emotional toll of these expectations is significant. Guilt often emerges when women feel that they are not living up to the standards set by the church. They might feel guilty for wanting to work outside the home, for seeking personal fulfillment in areas other than motherhood, or for simply feeling overwhelmed by the demands of being a mother.
Shame is another common experience. When women perceive that they are not “good enough” as mothers, wives, or daughters of God, it can lead to a deep sense of shame. This shame is often internalized, making it difficult for women to share their struggles or seek support. Instead, they may suffer in silence, believing that their feelings of inadequacy are a reflection of their personal worth.
Anxiety can also take root in this environment. The fear of not measuring up, of being judged by others in the community, or of disappointing their families and God can create a constant state of stress. This anxiety is compounded by the fact that many women feel they must hide their true feelings, presenting a facade of perfect motherhood to the world.
The Path to Healing
To begin healing from the guilt, shame, and anxiety associated with these traditional gender roles, it’s important for LDS women to recognize that they are not alone in their struggles. Many women share these feelings, and by opening up about their experiences, they can find support and solidarity.
It is also crucial to challenge the notion that there is only one “right” way to be a woman in the LDS Church. Every woman’s journey is unique, and there is no single path that defines righteousness or worthiness. Whether a woman chooses to focus solely on motherhood, pursue a career, or blend both, her choices are valid and should be celebrated.
Developing a sense of autonomy and personal authority is key. LDS women should be encouraged to make decisions that align with their own values, desires, and circumstances rather than feeling pressured to conform to external expectations. This may involve redefining what it means to be a “good” woman or mother, embracing a broader understanding of womanhood that includes a diversity of experiences and choices.
Moving Forward with Compassion
As the LDS community continues to evolve, there is a growing recognition of the need to support women in all aspects of their lives. This includes providing spaces for open dialogue about the challenges and pressures they face, as well as offering resources for mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being.
Ultimately, the goal is to create a community where women can thrive—free from guilt, shame, and anxiety—no matter what choices they make. By embracing a more inclusive and compassionate understanding of womanhood, the LDS Church can help women feel valued and supported as they navigate their unique paths.
In the end, the message to all LDS women should be clear: You are enough. Your worth is not determined by your ability to fit into a predefined role but by the love, integrity, and courage you bring to your life and the lives of those around you with courage and faith. As the LDS Church navigates the challenges of the modern world, may it do so with a commitment to openness, honesty, and the enduring principle of love.