From Doctrine to Dialogue: Holding Space for Everyone on the LDS Spectrum

Written by David Herrin
In faith communities, it can feel like the only safe ground is certainty. We’re told to cling to doctrine, avoid hard questions, and stay inside the lines. But the truth is, the LDS spectrum of belief and belonging is wide, diverse, and deeply human.

If we want to create healthier families and communities, we must learn how to move from rigid doctrine to open dialogue. Respectful conversation across differences doesn’t weaken faith; it deepens it.

In a series of recent conversations on the Latter Day Struggles Podcast, Valerie and her guests explore how we can hold space for one another as we navigate complex faith journeys. Here are some key insights:

Listening to the Research: Understanding the Spectrum

In Episode 295, Valerie welcomes researcher and author Jana Reiss to share insights from her forthcoming project documenting hundreds of personal LDS faith journey experiences.

Through surveys and oral histories, Jana explores:

• How sociopolitical influences shape LDS identity.
  
• The shifting perspectives on sexual ethics during and after transitions.
  
• The role of “edge dwellers” in bridging divides and helping communities learn to talk to each other.

Her research reveals a powerful truth: understanding one another is the first step toward healing the fractures along the LDS spectrum. 

Loving Across Difference: Families in Faith Transition

In Episode 259, Valerie joins the Faith Matters Podcast to address one of the toughest topics: What happens when a loved one’s faith journey feels like it threatens eternal togetherness?

This episode resonated deeply, offering listeners a new framework:

• Fear doesn’t have to dominate our relationships.
  
• Supporting a loved one’s journey can be sacred work.
  
• Peace and presence are possible even when belief systems diverge.

Listeners shared how this conversation helped them stay grounded in love instead of drowning in fear – a reminder that dialogue fosters connection, even in difference.

Some Things We Just Don’t Know. And That’s Okay.

My brother passed away when he was 21 years old. I was 23. This was over two decades ago. Before his death, he had chosen a different path, away from the church, toward his passions and interests, and he was an amazing person. I watched my parents struggle with how to handle this, based on their beliefs about eternal families (the fear that this was being jeopardized), balancing Church teachings and cultural pressures with family relationship priorities, and conditional versus unconditional love. 

My brother and I were very close, so needless to say, it was devastating to lose him (and still is). I clearly remember the moment I found out he had died. Where I was sitting, the feeling of my body sinking into the seat of my car…it didn’t seem real. I had so many questions that day and in subsequent days. What if I had been there for him more often? What if I had been able to help him? What if….? One of the most complex questions I had at the time was about the eternal welfare and state of his soul. After all, he took his own life, and I had heard things about that. What happens to people, to families, in these cases? Would I ever see him again? All I had to cling to were the fun and happy memories my sister and I shared at his funeral service, and a belief that God would sort things out.

I like to read, gather information, research, and learn. So I consumed everything I could find about suicide in scriptures, conference talks, and books by LDS authors and others. Ultimately, I realized there are some things we just don’t know. So when people expressed their condolences toward me, particularly when they learned about how he died, with words alluding to him going to Hell or being excluded from an eternal family structure, I flat out rejected that. I didn’t say that, of course. I accepted their heartfelt words, as they had good intentions, thought they knew what they were talking about, but didn’t really know. Some things we just don’t know. And that’s okay.

Consider the multitude of mental health conditions and states of the mind, traumatic brain injuries, addictions, pressured and conflicting choices; how can we begin to know or predict outcomes with so many variables and complexities? Do we know a person’s heart? Their intentions? Limitations in capacity? The beginning and end of the healing power of the Atonement? Do we make God small, or hopeless? Are we trying to control outcomes that are outside of our control? Are we trying to force loved ones to stay in a boat that they don’t want to ride in right now? Do we really have a clue about the deep doctrine of the future? Or do we love, and trust, and leave it at that? Again, some things we just don’t know. And that’s okay. We can choose to include. We can choose to love, and that’s enough. One person’s path to connection, to God, may differ from another’s, and that’s okay too.

Healing in Community: Finding Belonging Without Conditions

In Episode 311, Valerie hosts four brave guests who speak about the wounds of feeling silenced in church and family settings. Many carried shame, guilt, or rejection because their journeys didn’t fit expectations.

Inside Latter Day Struggles’ growth and processing groups, they found a new reality:

• Belonging isn’t conditional on belief.
  
• Sharing doubts or experiences doesn’t fracture community, it strengthens it.
  
• True healing comes when people are loved and accepted simply for being children of God.

This is the heart of dialogue: creating spaces where authenticity is met with compassion, not judgment.

Conclusion: From Doctrine to Dialogue

Doctrine may provide structure, but dialogue builds trust. It is in conversation – messy, vulnerable, and honest – that we learn to love each other across the LDS spectrum.

When we replace fear with curiosity and suspicion with compassion, we stop demanding sameness and start building true community.

The LDS faith journey isn’t meant to be walked alone. And it certainly isn’t meant to be silenced. Together, we can hold space for every story, every question, and every heart.

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