Join Valerie in this “Office Hours” conversation where the question that is addressed has to do with managing uneven division of labor in the care of declining parents. The group addresses the issue of how to cope with aging parents, when to get involved, when to set boundaries, and how to do so in a way that is both loving and self respecting.
Valerie also works with a few members of the group around the issue of self-identifying as the “helpful” child and how this identity contributes to their ongoing struggles to know when and how to say “yes” and when and how to say “no”.
The question of looking at grief also arose as a member noticed that lifelong caregiving children often have not had enough care and concern pointed in their direction. Finally, the group addresses the painful struggle of setting boundaries in the face of aging parents as the real grief of their dying (due to age or other issues) brings up legitimate and strong emotions in the process of clarifying one’s own appropriate place in caregiving.